I am very open about my life, my past (even the bad parts), and how I got to this point in my life. This is my story about how I got my happy little family.....
The 2nd weekend in August I was down there, we went out for some drinks and to play pool. To my surprise my first drink tasted awful and I just felt funny. Didn't think a whole lot of it, just thought maybe I was getting sick. So I took driving role and let the boys drink. The following Thursday night was my "tap room ladies night". My girlfriend and I went out, same thing happened with my drink. We talked about it, and discovered I may be a couple days late. Shit! That's all I could think or say. We decided to go to Perkins (which was a common thing) and the smell of our food made me wanna throw up. That moment, I said "OMG I'm pregnant!" Did I mention my boobs hurt the last two days but I was trying to convince myself it was something else? Couldn't eat my food, could barely sit at that table with it in front of me. Stopped at Walgreens on my way home to buy a test. Couldn't wait until the morning, I had to know now! Yep, positive almost instantly. At the time all I could say was "oh my god! Shit!" my poor roommate at the time, I swear I had her up all night with me freaking out. Called J the next am and here began the downward spiral. Instantly started questioning if it was his, blah blah blah. All my thoughts changed quickly, all I cared about was this baby. J's feelings were the complete opposite. Even asking me about getting a abortion, multiple times. That wasn't even a option to me.
Through the next couple weeks, we got it confirmed at a doctors office, giving me a due date of 4/25/05, started talking about the future, J said he would move here after his work was over, trying to figure out how this is gonna work. September came, they were headed to CA for their last project (which was about 3 weeks long) before headed back to his hometown, Dallas TX. J became more and more distance as the time went on and by Nov he was no longer returning my phone calls. This continued until March 2005. Finally, he calls to tell me when he got home he started using meth on a regular basis, he wasn't moving here, and if I would let him he wanted to come for the birth. At this point, I had high BP, was on bedrest, and very angry with this guy leaving very little to say. When the time came closer I let him come up for C's delivery (now regretting that decision). J slept 18 hours a day, was a crabby jerk the entire time, ate everything I had in my house, and had nothing to say to me. I wasn't getting a paycheck anymore being on bedrest, and he didn't give me a dime for anything. Including gas for my 2.5 hour drive to get him from the airport and drive back. Fun, fun!
Delivery day, he couldn't have been less interested. Lucky for me, I had made my sister my labor coach many months before. J had left and went to my apartment for most of my labor, came back about a hour before I started pushing. In the room he was hiding in the corner and I had my sister and best friend at my bedside. Which I wouldn't of wanted it any other way, BUT why did he want to come for this exactly?! Still unknown.
After C had arrived, J started to act like a human again and I saw a glimpse of the guy I knew 10 months prior. 36 hours later, J left to go back home. He had been here 2 weeks waiting for them to induce me. We all thought it would of been sooner then it was.
During the next 6 weeks, J called almost daily, we were getting along again and it seemed there might be a tiny ray of hope we'd somehow figure this out for this little innocent boy. The last weekend in May, J came back for 5 days. Everything changed. He was back to being a jerk, didn't want to help with C, and even got in my face yelling about C not being his, he didn't believe me, wasn't paying child support, infact called me "crazy" for thinking he would ever pay anything when he's not going to see him. Who said he wouldn't see C? It would just take some work, plane trips, or one of us moving. I did say, I would not move. In my mind, I had this little boy, he was my responsibility, I needed the help and support from my family that was here. I wasn't moving for this guy who was so unsupportive, meth doing, mean guy he had become. He had no interest in moving here anymore, to quote him "Duluth is F**ked up! I can't live here!" I guess his son wasn't a good enough reason.
The day I brought J to the airport, I wondered if I would ever see him again. Sad to say, I was hoping his plane would crash on the way home. I know that sounds mean, but he was so awful to us I couldn't believe this was the father of my child.
We talked briefly the next week or so, I went back to work and so did J. He said once he got his paycheck he'd send me some money to help with daycare ect. Guess who changed his number and never called?! Seriously. Thank god I was able to sign up for daycare help through the county and figured it out on my own. J also never signed C's birth certificate, cause he denied him for so long. After I started getting daycare help, they wanted to find him to pay child support. It took 13 months for them to find him and force him to do a DNA test. After that came back he was obligated to pay. 7 months later I got a half payment for 2 months, then nothing for another year. Quiting your job and working for cash he thought he could get away from it. He now owes me about 10,000 in back pay.
October 2006, DD and I met. DD and C hit it off right away and C loved to jump around on him and seemed so excited to have a guy around. They bonded so quick, like it was meant to be this way. C was into baseball since before he could walk. Always wanted a ball in his hand! DD was excited about that, and took on daddy role and was playing catch with him, teaching him how to bat ect. Not to mention, C was entering his "terrific twos and threes" and DD stuck it out with us. If that didn't scare him away, I knew we were golden. Haha, C was a screamer too...did I forget to say that? It was bad, but yet he was so sweet at least twice a day too :). We took C to his first Twins game summer of 08, he's been in love ever since.
Shortly before C turned 3, he had a new name for Doug(DD), it was Daddy Doug...where DD comes from. So freaking cute! Now, almost 4 years later daddy doug gets to become just daddy. Couldn't be happier or more grateful how things have turned out for all of us. Thank you all for your support during this journey! xo
1 comment:
What a journey this has been! I tell ya Doug is a sweet man- one of a kind!!
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